Happy Father's Day!!

Father's Day - it hasn't been an easy day to celebrate. Mixed emotions swirl through my heart and head as I remember the man who raised me from a child and the man who loves me as though he did.

My own father passed away 13 years ago. I remember him today for the depth of his love, the laughter in his heart and the patience in his eyes. I remember the hugs he gave freely when returning from a long absence. He was not a perfect man, but he was perfect for me.

I imagine that I get much of my temperament (and admittedly lazy tendencies) from him. He was not quick to anger but, hoo boy, when he finally blew it was of nuclear proportions. I hold him tightly in my heart despite the memories continuing to fade. The pitch of his voice or the exact shade of his eyes are not details I can readily pull from memory any longer. The smell of Old Spice, diesel oil and vanilla that clung to him is easy to recall. These scents will always bring to mind memories of my daddy, for that I am lucky. I will also remember his hands, the hands that were strong and capable, scarred, freckled and gentle.

So, for many years today has been difficult to celebrate. It has passed without any fanfare or recognition. Avoided if you will.

That is, until a few years ago when QotU met her match. Senior Chief came into her life and the sadness that she had resigned herself to (whether knowingly or not) evaporated. Dad was the love of her life, Senior Chief is the love of her eternity. It is clear to see if you only look. They adore each other and where my dad was emotionally unavailable, Senior Chief is generous and not afraid to show it. (Okay, sometimes showing it a little to much for the delicate sensibilities of the daughters standing by Mr. McSmoochy-face.)

He brought her happiness, and that makes me happy. They married and though I didn't know him that well, he welcomed me with open heart, home and arms. He put the happiness back into more lives that just mom's, he became the dad we were missing.

There is room for these two men to exist harmoniously in my heart. Loving one doesn't mean disloyalty to the other.

One is my daddy. The man of my youth who ate hot peppers, could fix any vehicle with duct tape, pantyhose and sheer will (seriously, I get my MacGuyver-esque tendencies from him) and was calm to the point of comatose. He shared my childhood adventures with me and will always be treasured.



One is my dad. The man of my adulthood who has accepted me as I am and calls me one of his brood. He is a gun collector and history buff who loves his family without hesitation. He will share with me the adventures yet to come in my life (and there will be lots, I'm sure).