Dear Room 221,

You may not be aware of this, but you CAN shut a door without slamming it so hard that neighboring rooms shake.

If you are not sure how this is done, please ask your parents. I would help you but I am afraid that I would just end up punching you in your vapid little heads.

Sincerely,
Room 220


Dear Parents of Room 221,

I understand the freedom of allowing your children to stay in a room on their own. You and your spouse are entitled to a little alone time. It is not okay, however, to stand in the common corridor several rooms down from your offspring and shout a conversation.

I don't want to know what will happen if the fruit of your loins isn't ready for breakfast in exactly 2 minutes.

Really, I'd rather sleep.

Sincerely,
The woman who almost punched you in the throat at 7am.

Dear Management,

It would have been a great idea to put these two rooms next to each other. I happen to know that your hotel is not full up and that every room that is occupied is on this side of the building. The overly friendly clerk at check-in told me this. That it is policy to place everyone right on top of each other to keep it easier for housekeeping.

Break the policy when there are kiddies in their own room, please.

Sincerely,
The two women that won't be gracing you with our presence in the future.